‘TIS THE SEASON TO BE CHILLED: The 12 (Pain-Saving) Days of Christmas
When you live with chronic pain, your enjoyment of the festive season may well depend on your preparations in the lead up to Christmas Day, and the first step in planning a Christmas of serenity and joy is to choose simplicity over perfectionism. This doesn’t mean lowering your standards - it is about making changes to fit your life and is the ultimate in festive self-care. Reducing your Christmas to-do list will give you more energy, time, headspace, and more zest for enjoyment. Less stress means less pain which equals a happier you, and ultimately your nearest and dearest will also be happier.
So how can you make sure that you don’t get caught up in the frenzy of stress and anxiety that can go hand in hand with the festive season? And how can you make changes that will minimise your pain at Christmas?
This is something that I have learned the hard way. But I have learned important lessons through the difficult experiences and I now have a tried and tested system for preparing for Christmas which involves simple but effective planning, pacing yourself, and setting healthy boundaries.
But what happens when all those good intentions you had to shop early, wrap gifts as you bought them, practice self-care throughout December, and cook ahead and freeze, kind of disappeared along the Advent way because, well, a life of pain got in the way? Suddenly we are halfway through the countdown to Christmas Day and you still haven’t finished your gift shopping, your cards haven’t been posted, you haven’t a clue what you are cooking for Christmas dinner and you haven’t got one festive item in the cupboards - is it too late to have a stress-free yuletide celebration?
The good news is that you can start where you are - no matter how much or little you have already prepared it is possible to achieve this in twelve easy, actionable steps - the 12 (Pain-Saving) Days of Christmas. So-called because you shouldn’t attempt to do more than one step a day - multi-tasking is to be avoided if you want to have a chilled countdown to Christmas Day.
1st DAY OF CHRISTMAS
Master plan
If you are going to be spending Christmas Day with others, the first part of this step is to have a talk with them about your need for a simpler yuletide celebration. Make sure that everyone is on the same page about what time of the day you will be opening presents, going to church, eating dinner etc so that you have a basic plan to work upon.
Now you can create your Christmas Master Plan - it’s not as grand or complicated as it sounds, but is basically a To Do list that covers all aspects of the festivities, including:
Menu for the Christmas dinner
Food / groceries you need to buy
People you still need to buy presents for and send cards to
Buying the presents, cards, gift wrap etc
Finishing the Christmas decorations and getting ready for guests
etc, etc
Make a list of everything that needs doing and in what order it needs done.
Now, take a look at that list again and consider if there are any tasks that can simply be removed. Ask yourself, ‘is this on the list because it is essential or because I am being a perfectionist?’ and accept that perfectionism is your enemy - it doesn’t care about your pain and stress levels. Remember that simplicity over perfectionism is what you are aiming for.
2nd DAY OF CHRISTMAS
Delegate
This step might be painful to accept. I know you think that no-one can cook the Christmas dinner as perfectly as you can, wrap presents as elegantly as you can, or decorate the tree as tastefully as you can, and you may be right, BUT that doesn’t matter. Once you start to loosen the reins of control a little, you will start to experience a more enjoyable version of Christmas. It can be difficult to relinquish control (I know from personal experience) but it is oh so worth it to be able to claw back some sanity and to relax into a version of Christmas that doesn’t require you to be in charge of, and feel responsible for, every little detail and everyone else’s enjoyment.
So, take a look at your master plan and delegate as much as possible. What items that need to be bought can you entrust to someone else to buy? What items on the menu can be provided by or made by someone else? Can someone else take cards and packages to the post office, or go to the supermarket for the big shop?
If the tree still needs to be decorated get someone else to do that now - having your home feeling all festive and twinkly will go some way towards helping to settle anxiety and you feeling more relaxed.
Ask each of the guests coming to Christmas dinner to each bring along something to ease the burden on you - a side dish, a dessert, soft drinks, nibbles etc. And if you have someone who will be coming to dinner who has specific dietary requirements that you are not used to catering for, it is perfectly acceptable to ask them to bring a dish to ensure that they are well provided for. I am a vegan, and the rest of my family are a mix of vegan, vegetarian, and carnivore, so I know how stressful it can be making three different main dishes at any time of the year, never mind on Christmas Day.
3rd DAY OF CHRISTMAS
Defrost the freezer
Okay, it’s not the most glamorous part of Christmas preparations but here is why defrosting and re-organising the freezer is essential:
You can dispose of any food that is spoiled,
You can use up any odds and ends that you find hidden at the back,
You can make more space for the things you need to buy for the Christmas dinner, and for the things you will be cooking and freezing ahead,
You now know exactly what is in there so you’re not buying things you already have - thereby reducing food waste over Christmas,
You’re not raising your stress levels because the freezer is so frosted-up that you have to bang the drawers in with force to be able to get the door closed, and
You feel good because an organised freezer means an organised mind and less stress equals less pain.
Trust me, this is tried and tested and I can hand-on-heart testify that an organised freezer really does release feel-good endorphins and a certain level of smugness!
4th DAY OF CHRISTMAS
Organise your store cupboard
Again, it’s not very glamorous but you might feel a bit more excited about this step because you felt so good after defrosting your freezer yesterday! I have actually grown to love organising my store cupboard because it actually does make life in the kitchen simpler. The object of today’s task is to:
Check sell-by-dates on all your packets and get rid of anything that is past its best,
Re-organise what you are keeping so that you can see at a glance what you have and how much of it you have, and
Add anything that needs restocked to your grocery shopping list.
Now you can check the food shopping list you made in your master plan, and cross off anything on that list that you already have in your freezer and store cupboard. This means you will save a little money at the supermarket and you won’t be overstocking on items you don’t need, reducing the amount of stuff that will be out of date next time you reorganise your pantry and defrost your freezer.
5th DAY OF CHRISTMAS
Finish your cards
Did you mean to get your Christmas cards written at the start of December but somehow they are still sitting in their box and you’re wondering why you even bothered buying them? Don’t worry there is still time to make this a mindful and enjoyable task - light the fire, pop on your favourite festive playlist, pour a drink of something warming, use a special pen and write a short personal message in every card. Engaging your feelings and all your senses will help you fly through your Christmas card list stress-free. Delegate someone else to address and stamp the envelopes as you write the cards and you will get through it even quicker. Wrap up warm and walk to the post box to get them off straight away - Royal Mail’s latest recommended posting dates are Saturday 18th December for second class and Tuesday 21st December for first class post.
6th DAY OF CHRISTMAS
Shop smart (part one)
So your plans of starting at the beginning of December and shopping ahead – buying a few non-perishable food items and a few gifts each week in the run up to Christmas to help spread the financial burden and mental stress have gone a bit awry. But, with just under two weeks to Christmas there is still time to minimise the stress - shop for the non-perishable food items now and gifts now, and then the perishable items a couple of days before Christmas Day.
Hopefully on Day Two you will have delegated the task of going to the supermarket for the big shop to another family member! If not, why not? Or shop together - you pick the gifts and let them shop for the groceries. Remember, relinquishing the reins of control is going to be so beneficial for your stress/pain levels.
7th DAY OF CHRISTMAS
Cook ahead and freeze
Okay, we may only have five days left in the countdown to Christmas Day but that is still plenty of time - prepare as much food in advance today as you can. Not leaving it all to Christmas Eve and Christmas morning can make all the difference between a stressful Christmas and a blissful one.
It is amazing how much can be frozen - stuffing, bread sauce, nut roast, desserts, stock for gravy, roast potatoes and vegetables - so do what you can do today that will lessen the pressure on the big day.
And don’t forget the delegating that you did on Day Two - hopefully you have assigned the peeling, chopping and mixing to other people in your household, and if other guests will be coming for Christmas dinner you have asked them to bring a side dish or dessert? Get everyone involved, it really will increase the feelings of good cheer and goodwill to all.
8th DAY OF CHRISTMAS
Shop smart (part two)
Do you still have some last-minute gifts to buy but can’t face going out and battling the crowds in the shops? Shop smart and finish off your Christmas shopping online - there are many local small businesses and artisans who sell online and offer free click and collect or a free local delivery service. A great way to support local businesses, buy unique gifts, and with minimum stress.
9th DAY OF CHRISTMAS
Finish wrapping
Don’t leave this until Christmas Eve, it always seems to be more of a mammoth task the later you leave it. Gather all your wrapping paper, scissors, gift tags, ribbons, tape, string, pens etc and set up a wrapping station in front of a comfy chair, preferably near a cosy fire. Put on your favourite Christmas movie or playlist, pour a drink and get started. Tag gifts as you wrap them, making sure the tags are securely fixed. If you have multiple gifts for one person, put them all in a gift bag once wrapped to keep them together. If you have a lot of presents to wrap, take frequent short breaks, move around, make a cup of tea and then start again. If possible, delegate some of the wrapping to another family member and you will get through it in double-quick time.
10th DAY OF CHRISTMAS
Deck the halls
With just a couple of days left to go until Christmas now is the time to add the final touches to your decorations. Bring the outdoors in with some seasonal greenery - fresh holly, ivy and fir (or any green foliage) arranged in vases or around mirrors have such a beautiful and traditional festive feel.
If you have guests coming to stay, place a vase of festive greenery in the guest room along with fresh towels, a couple of spare blankets and a hot water bottle for colder nights.
Send a text to your Christmas dinner guests to remind them what dish they are bringing on Christmas Day.
Take a couple of hours today to call and deliver gifts to family and friends that you won’t see on Christmas Day, or invite them to come to you for a winter walk or festive movie followed by mulled wine or hot chocolate. It’s a lovely way to honour spending time with loved ones in this special season and take time out from a hectic timetable.
12th DAY OF CHRISTMAS
Final preparations and some ‘me time’
Hopefully by now you will have nothing left on your to-do list other than some food preparation for the big day and you will be feeling glad that you are not out doing last-minute shopping in crazy crowds or sitting in a queue of traffic either trying to get into or out of the supermarket carpark.
If you have still have food to prepare for tomorrow, try to do it early in the day so that you can sit down and relax after lunch. Hopefully you will have delegated some of the food prep to other family members - ask them to peel and chop vegetables which can then be placed in bowls or pans of cold water until needed on Christmas morning. Go over your timetable for cooking the Christmas dinner so you’re not forgetting anything.
Take some time out by yourself for relaxation in the afternoon - go for a walk, read a book, meditate, do yoga, or any other activity that will relax you.
Don’t forget to lift the dishes that you cooked ahead out of the freezer and defrost them in the fridge overnight.
Take a warm bath, put your pyjamas on early and watch your traditional Christmas Eve movie with the family.
So some last words of advice for an enjoyable Christmas Day.
Let go of perfection – forget trying to please everyone, or providing the ultimate Christmas. You are not responsible for everyone or for making their day ‘perfect’.
Perfect is not achievable, so don’t put pressure on yourself to try and attain something that is unobtainable. Remember that Christmas is just one day in the year and if it doesn’t quite go to plan, then that is okay. Burning the roast potatoes or forgetting the bread sauce is not the end of the world. Enjoy the little moments.
Be flexible – it is okay to have a rough timetable but avoid having a strict structure to the day as this can make you feel anxious and stressed when things don’t go according to plan. Remember you want to break that ‘pain - overwhelm - stress - more pain’ cycle, and simplicity and informality will make all the difference between a painful Christmas and a blissful one.
One last thing. Plan a treat for January – it doesn’t have to be big, just something to get you through any Christmas pressure and light up your life in that grey post-Christmas period.
Wishing you a peaceful, joyful and pain-free Christmas!
